A long time ago, in my first real job out of college, I worked as a Juvenile Probation Officer for the State of Wyoming. I know, take a moment to consider that! One of my co-workers was a person I greatly respected and I was eager to learn how to be a good probation officer. I believed that I was going to help kids turn their lives around. I would listen to my co-worker when his probation kids came in and I lapped up his wisdom like a cat with warm milk. When a young man or woman would complain about their probation status, my co-worker would always say, "Reality is this...." and then he would go on and on about why they were in the situation they were in. I ate this up! I believed, at that time that Reality Therapy was the best approach and the only way to get kids to turn their lives around (ie., If you don't like your present situation, what can you do to get out of it?). I have utilized Reality Therapy for much of my professional career, however as I have gotten older and yes, maybe a little wiser, I wonder what would have happened if instead of focusing on reality, I would have taken time with my probation kids and just had some fun with possibilities. Such as, "If you could do anything in this world when you grow up, what would you do?". Or, "Let's pretend that money isn't an issue, where would you like to live and what would you like to be doing?". Can you imagine how much fun we would have had just talking about possibilities rather than talking about all of the "don't do this" and "you can't do that". I wonder if that would have allowed us to begin a conversation about all of the options that were out there rather than the things that kept holding them back.
I think about my own son. When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, his first response usually is, "I don't know, there are so many things I could do". He thens go on to list NBA player, MLB player, singer/dancer, artist, and then says, "and then after I reach 28 or so, I'll settle down and do something else, like a real job". My first response (internally of course), is to say, "Really? Really, how realistic is that to think that you could make it in the NBA?". And then I realize what I am about to do. I'm about to start him off thinking that there are limitations to what we are capable of. I'm about to start him off thinking that there are so many more people in this world that are more capable than him. Wow! Then, I see the look on his face. I see possibility. I see a child dreaming. I see a child who believes that he can do anything that he wants to do in life, and I wonder, when do we lose that? When do we start believing that we can't achieve everything?
I asked you all to consider a time in your life when you allowed yourself to play full out. To consider an experience that you have had that you never thought you could have done. I'm curious to know what you thought of? Were there people that stood in your way? Were their people who supported you in the adventure?
I'm also asking you to let go of "My reality is...." and ponder, "If I could..." For a moment, I am asking you to be a 9 year old child and allow yourself to dream big. Are you where you thought you would be?
